Ask yourself these 12 simple questions:
- Do you feel that money helps you deal with "reality"?
- Do you have a $100-a-day instant teller habit?
- Do you have Substantial Early-Withdrawal Symptoms?
- Are you a Junk-Bond Junkie?
- Do you ever start thinking heavily about money before noon?
- Do you hide your money, or act secretively about it?
- Are you making it more and enjoying it less?
- Do you sometimes hear your wallet telling you what to do?
- Have friends, relatives, or coworkers ever tried to talk to you about your "problem"?
- Do you sometimes suspect that everyone you meet wants your money?
- Do you find yourself working at jobs that don't even get you "high" any more?
- Do you hate yourself for loving money so much?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you may be suffering from MONEY ADDICTION, a deadly, soul-destroying disease. Fortunately, there is a cure, and we'll be happy to sell it to you.
Just join The Church of the Almighty Dollar. We'll teach you how to go cold turkey and break that nasty money habit.*
If money has become a problem, bring your problem to us.
MONEY - JUST SAY NO!
The Church of the Almighty Dollar
* if we feel like it