The Talking Cat

This was told to me as a true story.

As a hobby, the wife of a friend of a friend taught their cat to talk. She started when it was just a kitten, spending hours teaching it to say short words like "hello." The cat couldn't put together meaningful phrases, but it did learn to imitate certain vocal sounds.

Later, when the cat was an adult, it began mewling weird unintelligible vocal sounds on its own — long phrases of word-like vowels and dipthongs all strung together.

The owners were disturbed by this behavior, and they actually considered taking the cat to a pet psychologist. But before they got around to it, the cat ran in front of a car.

When someone suggested, half in jest, that it might have been suicide, the husband said, "Yes, we thought of that."