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COMPARATIVE BIOGRAPHY

Things Other People Accomplished When They Were Your Age
Enter an age and see a list of accomplishments performed at that age.

 

POLITICS

10 Things You Should Know about John McCain (but probably don't)

Open Letter to Norm Mineta Regarding the Events of 9/11

Time Magazine's Dedication to the Truthiness

Jesusisms vs. Bushisms


Remarkable parallels between the words of Jesus and the sayings of the 43rd President.


Election Watch

9/13/06: A new study of the Diebold touch-screen voting system by Princeton University shows that a computer virus can be introduced into one machine and spread to others, undetectably stealing a few votes here, a few votes there.

But no one would be diabolical and bold enough to game the election system, right? On the other hand, who believed that Enron would game the electricity market?

Oh, did we mention that Walden O'Dell, who was CEO of Diebold until leaving for personal reasons (i.e., an impending class action securities fraud lawsuit), told Republicans in a fundraising letter that he was "committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the president"? And that his replacement was reported to have given the maximum allowable $2,000 contribution to George W. Bush's campaign, in violation of Diebold's corporate policy?

Honest Republicans should be as concerned about this issue as honest Democrats. After all, there are Democratic hackers too...

Read the Princeton study and see the demonstration video!

Read the story on Salon.com.


Worst president ever

Bush shows his respect for the American flagBush informed Gore during the 2000 debates that national disasters were "a time to test your mettle." I hope there are no more tests. So far, his administration

  •  Didn't want to hear about terrorism until after 9/11
  •  Used 9/11 as an excuse to go after Iraq
  •  Let bin Laden escape
  •  Lied about WMDs to justify the war
  •  Failed to plan for the aftermath of the war
  •  Turned Saddam's den of torture into our den of torture
  •  Appointed a political hack to head FEMA
  •  Botched the recovery effort in New Orleans
  •  Cut taxes on the wealthy while running up a huge deficit
  •  Illegally used secret branches of government to spy on the American people

Time for Bush & Cheney to Go - Keith Olbermann
Washington Post article
George Will essay
Molly Ivans essay


Education Watch


No Child Left Untested

Destroying the love of learning, one kid at a time

Fascism Watch

12 Warning Signs of Fascism

 

CONCEPTUAL ART PROJECTS

The "I Hate My Life" Project

Smiling/Frowning Mona Lisa
This is a hybrid image in which Mona Lisa is smiling when you're up close and frowning when you're far away (or looking at a thumbnail).

The Clockworks Project
An online diary of what I was doing and thinking each time a random timer beeped

Incorporating Dogs into Art

The Dollar Project
I distributed dozens of dollar bills rubber-stamped with messages asking for return of the dollar or information as to its whereabouts

dollar bill with Dollar Project rubber stamp

 

MISCELLANEOUS

Photos of recently discovered Crap Circles, strange circular feces formations.

Crap Circles photo

 

Photos of Fort Ord and the Impossible City

Message Found in a Rat

Belch Beer
So good, you'll want to taste it twice.

 

 

SHORT STORIES

"The Talking Cat"
A very short, allegedly true, story.

Boring Bedtime Stories: An Anthology for Insomniacs
A collection of stories designed to be as uninteresting as possible — your contributions are requested.

"The Girl Scout Cookie Project"
What happens when your local scout troop goes on strike and refuses to sell cookies containing trans fatty acids (TFAs)?

"A Dollar for Your Soul"
Based on a true story about a high-school soul-selling pyramid scheme, this story originally appeared in Marion Zimmer Bradley's Fantasy Magazine. A Russian translation was done by Andrei Novikov and published in December 1993 in Yesly ("If") magazine, which has been voted Europe's best science fiction magazine. Since its circulation in 1993 eclipsed that of MZBFM, it appears that far more people have read this story in a Russian translation I knew nothing about

"The Vision Vine" Vision Vine illustration
A short story about
virtual reality and entheogens, originally published in Whole Earth Review. It's also about tribal cultures in conflict with modern civilization. The magazine Transdimension Vista published a Japanese translation without my knowledge or permission, so I'm using this graphic without their permission. (Also see Google's translation of the Japanese version back to English.) The story was then translated into Russian (from the English version, of course) and published in the May 2002 issue of Yesly magazine.

"DreamNet"
An unpublished story about dreaming and networks. No one has bothered translating this.

 

HELP FOR THE ATTITUDINALLY CHALLENGED

Powerful technologies for coping with chronic negativity - Improv, Aikido, meditation, etc.

 

ESSAYS

The Purpose of a Man
Thoughts on evolutionary biology and love

On Happiness
In which I resolve to just be happy

The Secrets of the Universe
A true story within a true story

 

LETTERS

Rejection Letter
from a literary agency

Complaint Letter
to a beard trimmer manufacturer

Reply to a Letter Concerning Post Alpha-Bits
My original was written in crayon

Letter Regarding a Software Upgrade

Reply from a Fast Food Company
regarding those beeping sounds

 

TECHNOLOGY

The following software products can be purchased at a 25% discount by using the coupon code IMPEACH. See more information...

ChatterBlocker ChatterBlocker is a new software program that uses digital audio technology to neutralize the sound of speech and other distractions so you can stay focused in any environment.

SFX Machine SFX Machine Pro is an Editor's Choice award-winning sound design and multi-effects plug-in.

 

Purr DetectorThe Purr Detector lighted cat collar glows whenever your cat purrs.

 

 

 

 

The "Credit Card Number Despacing" problem has been solved. This discovery untangles one of computer science's most difficult mysteries.

Masterpiece Helper is a Photoshop plug-in for fixing a variety of common artistic blunders, such as Monet's blurry images and Escher's mistakes with perspective.

 

SONGS

A Bunch of Song Lyrics

 

LANGUAGE AND RELIGION

Oly-hay Ible-bay
After years of effort, I've completed the first translation of the entire Bible into Pig Latin

 

SCIENCE / NATURE

Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics label - Warning: Bestiality

New! My long out-of-print recording "It's a Jungle in There: Sounds of the Tropical Rainforest in 3D" is finally available in .mp3 format. You can buy it here.

Some short essays on tropical bird sounds, along with samples I recorded in Costa Rica.

An essay on Mockingbird Song

PlanktosPlanktos Ecosystem Restoration Projects allow you to erase your carbon footprint and reduce the growing acidity of the oceans.

Environmental Quiz from the "Awesome Possum" video game.
Historical note: I think the bass part of the Awesome Possum theme song was sung by the late Elmer "Len" Dresslar, Jr., famous for being the voice of the Jolly Green Giant.

Do It Like a Penguin
Chapter 7 from Do It Like an Animal: Spice up Your Love Life with Erotic Advice from the Animal Kingdom

A report on Things Found Growing in My House

Concerning the Speed of Light

Quantum Randomness, Consciousness, and the Mind/Body Problem

 

LEGAL

A brief excerpt from a deposition, wherein I give testimony regarding a road kill possum.

 

DREAMS

Near-Lucid Dreams and False Awakenings
Humorous Commentaries on the Human Condition

A hypertext version of a dream about dreaming,
in which a telephone symbolized a dream. The over-reaching interpretation is included at no extra charge

A comic about a dream
about a comic about a dream
Comic about a Dream about a Comic about a Dream

 

THAT OBSCURE OBJECT OF DESIRE

Things people are searching for
Search terms recently used to find this site.

 

MISCELLANEOUS

Domain Names for Sale
Mostly audio-related domain names.

ArtForPersonalGrowth.com
Art for Personal Growth workshops in the Monterey area.

 

© 2007, The Sound Guy, Inc.

About the Museum of Conceptual Art

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